GOSSIP.
Who doesn’t like to listen to a bit of “juicy” gossip? Something within that “loves,” “delights,” to hear of the failings or falls of another, even seeking their hurt! Indeed some people get their relevance, acceptance even “status” and importance in a group by being “the one,” who can inform others of the “latest news.” They get their significance and highs from being the one with the inside scoop. Sometimes even under the guise of using “prayer” to say I just want to tell you this for “prayer,” and proceed to use it as a cloak for their own evil to “gossip!”
A MISUNDERSTANDING- When you speak about “Gossip,” some wrongfully think that it pertains exclusively to women! NOT SO. The Scriptures do not say so. Men are sinners too and this sin is not missing from their hearts and mouths too! Sin is sin. Gossip comes from a heart be it male or female! It is a heart issue, not a gender issue! While it has been acceptable, irrespective of place in society, race, sex, it is often the gathering of people or at times one at a time to hear or spread. While acceptable among us and embraced as long as it is not us who is the object of the gossip, there is a delineation between what is acceptable among us, THERE IS A “BUT GOD…”
“But God… has a few things to say regarding “gossip.”
1. – GOSSIP…CAN DESTROY FRIENDSHIP
” A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.”- Prov 16;28
Are you out to purposely trying to separate friendships, intimate friendships? Are you trying to put a wedge between others so they fall out? Is that your goal? I am sure it is not. But to continue to choose- and gossip is a choice- to continue to gossip know you are “a,” if not “the” means of separating intimate friends! Have you ever seen yourself in that light? Have you seen the end your gossip produces?
2. – GOSSIP AND QUARRELS
” Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.” – Prov 26:20
How wonderful quarrels stops when gossip stops! Gossiping PROVOKES and quarrels result very often. So STOP your gossiping and the quarreling ceases! Again there are consequences to your gossip!
3. – A GOSSIP LACKS LOVE
“He who conceals a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. – Prov 17:9-
Note the one who conceals transgression- {sin} seeks love. It is not that they wink at it but in dealing with it. And in doing so- that’s the end of it! The one who loves seeks to protect the person. It is done, and never brought up to use against another to manipulate, shame, control, or “one up” them which is pride and it is lovelessness. 1 Cor 13:4-7 shows “Loves” Behavior. Love keeps no records of wrongs! A Slanderer… a Gossip repeats a matter and the end is the separating of friends. Beware of being such a one! Better you choose LOVE than reveal lovelessness and the destruction of friendships because of YOU or me if we choose to act so!
4. – A GOSSIP IS A…FOOL.
“…whoever spreads Gossip is a Fool.”- Prov 10:18.
You can choose to spread love… You can choose to spread with your WORDS what you wish. Gossipers use WORDS…. To choose to SPREAD Gossip reveals something about the Gossiper… they are a FOOL! Believers can act foolishly by mimicking the actions of a gossiper and we are foolish. We have the POWER to Put off such speech and put on a new speech { READ – 2 Peter 1:3; Colossians 3:5 }
Paul wrote- ” Let no ROTTEN {Like meat, or fruit that rots}unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification{BUILDS UP }according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. DO NOT grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” {Ephesians 4:28-30}
GOSSIP is DECAYING Words, ROTTEN words and they are to be IMMEDIATELY, COMPLETLY, “put off.” Like a filthy garment and replaced with words that “edify” build up the person. Rotten speech ‘GRIEVES” the Holy Spirit. You can only grieve- it is a word of pain. You can only grieve the one who Loves you. Gossip grieves the Holy Spirit!! THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! Build Up or Shut Up!
5. – WARNING; DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH A GOSSIP!
“He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.” –Prov 20:19
GOSSIP IS DESTRUCTIVE- Separate’s the best of friends, is loveless, repeats matters, consistently spreading their destructive lovelessness. Reveals secrets. Is untrustworthy. Is faithless. In the end it is best NOT to associate with one! “Do not be {misled} deceived. Bad character corrupts good morals,” -1 Cor 15:33.
Perhaps you are not the one who spreads it but you do sit and “enjoy” hearing it. That has to stop. For the sake of the one spreading it, plus the hearers sake. To sit through it is to give hearthy approval if the gossiper is not gently confronted concerning it and shown how to change to honor God and others with their speech.
A FEW QUESTIONS TO THINK THROUGH;
ASK YOURSELF?
1. Am I a Gossip?
2.- Do I find my “significance, acceptance” in a group or with another due to my “ability,” to talk about others and reveal secrets, talk about their failures, sins, or even what I think might be something they are thinking, involved in?
3. – Why Do I Gossip? What is at the heart of it? Is it to make me come off better, superior than the other person? Is it that I may be thought of as more spiritual? Am I seeking indirectly to be “accepted” and receive the praises of people?
4. – Are other friendships damaged because of my gossip? Are there quarrels as a result of my gossip?
5. – Is my speech GRIEVING THE HOLY SPIRIT?
6. – Put off rotten speech and instead CHOOSE to use your speech to build up others. You may find there are times when you are not speaking as much but more THOUGHTFUL in what you are going to say and you become a blessing to others instead of one who belittle’s others!
UNDERSTAND THE EVIL OF GOSSIP…
1. – To allow the Gossiper to continue will lead to destruction of close friendship’s
2. – To Allow or LISTEN to Gossip without gently addressing to it allows lovelessness to flourish. Gossip poison’s and comes forth from a heart that reveals its own sin condition by what comes out of the lips.
3. – Would you take advice from a “fool?” Listening to a “gossip” is doing exactly that.
Also remember if they gossip about others, what makes you think they will not include you in their next bit of “juicy gossip.”
GOSSIP Hurts! YOU are hurting others if you are gossiping. You may be the recipient of gossip and you know the pain. GOSSIP Grieves, hurts the HOLY SPIRIT
HELP and ASK A GOSSIPER
1. – Why are you telling me this ?Is it necessary for me or others to know?
2.- Have you spoken to the one who is being gossiped about to establish facts?
3. – Do You know gossip is evil speech and it reflects a heart of lovelessness?
4.- Do you know when you gossip it grieves the Holy Spirit?
5. – Do you want to build other people up and not grieve the Holy Spirit? You can do so by choosing to use your words to no longer gossip- put it off and instead put on words that build up people{Memorize Ephesians 4:28-30;Phil 4:8-9}
APPLICATION;
* GOD HELP, FORGIVE me and you where we have CHOSEN and taken delight in spreading gossip
*GOD HELP, FORGIVE AND STRENGTHEN US to not be part of it but to lovingly speak to the gossiper and encourage them using His Word.
THE SCRIPTURES- MEMORIZE, MEDITATE, PRAY, APPLY, PASS ON;
***Perhaps put the above scriptures on some cards and place on your mirror in bathroom and read in the morning and evening to familiarize yourself with and guard your own heart and mouth and to help others so they, you and me choose not to sin against others!
* Don’t choose to gossip
* Don’t choose to idly sit by and listen to it.
To Choose to continually follow this pattern reveals more about YOUR own heart and MY heart if we are willing to continue to sit and give the gossiper free range. Be courageous, Be loving, be proactive and put an end to gossip in your presence. One question can put an end to it, “What did the person say to you when you spoke to them about it?” Perhaps the gossip has not spoken to the person they are gossiping about. If a gossip is continually entertained, they will continue. If you allow them to continue to belittle others, you are part of their sin!
* DO Choose to guard your heart and tongue
* DO Choose to lovingly help a gossiper with choosing to us their words to build up and not tear down.
* GOSSIP IS GODLESSNESS!
*** Feel Free to Cut And Paste and Use To Share With Others on your site or Email.- PASS IT ON…..