Feb 15 2018

Having a tough, tough time, with the effects of the disease… exhausting days and long nights with constant waking up, pain, nausea, difficulty breathing and walking from bedroom to bathroom, the IV treatments are so so painful at times. Nurse and dr stopped the last round I had as I was having such a hard time and should not have had bad responses I have had. Nurse refused to continue the last round as i was in such discomfort and pain. Now waiting for Dr on charge of my case to get in touch , what to do?

I had one what I called a “good/ bad day,” where i got outside and it was wonderful…just to see something other than my room. I got to spend time with one of my boys who is so so kind and considerate towards me. My trial is Their trial. No one in a trial or illness is the only one impacted. it can go one of two ways for those close to you, bitterness or God working compassion into their character through their own pain/ When I was first diagnosed in 2002 and spent 19 months in bed.I use to pray a passage from Hebrews 12 for my kids that they would not become discouraged or despise what was happening to me. as would have been so so easy for little children…and now to see this one look out for me, care about me,He does work “all things together for good…” His plan includes using pain in the developing of not only us but those around us {Read James 1:2-4}. It does not mean it is easy for them… indeed one thing i have observed over the years is the load the caregivers and those around a sick person carries, and while people pray for the sick person those closest to are often neglected in the matter….

At times when I hear of someone ill, I try to think who is the caregiver? Who is around them and pray for them! That He would carry their burdens and give them grace and strength to know how and constantly fling, cast their burdens upon Him {Psalm 55:22}. Everyone responds differently to pain, be it their own or that of those closest to them, and for that we must allow great room of heart to never chide them but love them, encourage them,understand and intercede for them. Paul wrote, “Encourage the disheartened… Help the weak… be patient with everyone”-{1 Thess 5;14} After all patience is an attribute of love- Read 1 Cor 13:4.

The disease I have is according to top Dr.s in their field a very painful, disease, and from my side of the equation- I would have to agree they got that right:) But it does not define me…. There are times when the physical longevity of this lengthy trial exhausts and disheartens me, “But GOD…” is quick to remind me of a verse, something to THINK on and opportunities to pray. A friend once shared this with me and I found myself last night remembering it as I was in such distress from pain.and difficulty with shortness of breath- to pray for someone else in a similar case, and I have found over the years He reminds me to do so. So for example last night as I lay on my side in my bed and was about to pray for help, I was reminded of someone else and prayed for them first. It is an easy theory to speak about but learning and relearning in the furnace of your own affliction is only something He can enable you to do so.So to Him be the glory. It is when truths are taken from the”classroom” to the battle ground when truth has to be applied, and in the heat of battle reveals what is mere knowledge versus what is faith in Him. And that takes time. God was in no rush with developing Abraham and yet we see in Romans 4 the beauty of his faith been developed and displayed where we read. ” Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,”-{Rom 4;20}. God’s glory the end of his faith. Trials the means to developing …his faith!

* I have found cliche’s are of no use to a person in pain.
* I have found “This is my comfort in my affliction Your Word revives me” -{Psalm 119:50}

* I have found you don’t have to “understand” what another is going through to extend “understanding” they are hurting. Some want to understand perhaps to satisfy their own curiosity, or fear of not being in control if they cannot understand, as not knowing affects them being out of control of another’s trial, suffering, and to satisfy their own selves have to have a conclusion or a statement as the fear of not knowing THE answer to “why”or “what” leaves them shaken as they are not in control, that something could be outside of their control! For some that is a terrible thing!

* I have found Job 6:14 a comfort. The issues is not “Why?” but “HOW?” – “In times of affliction there should be kindness from his friend.’ The question to be taken up with is “HOW?…”-“How”- in times of affliction can I show kindness to a friend.
* I have found the Lord raises up people to love you – and not necessarily those whom you have known a long time

* I have found comfort in Him and purpose in pain, “…God…who comforts us in all our affliction SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO comfort those who are in ANY {ALL}y affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”-{2 Cor 1;3-4}.. Our afflictions, CRUSHING as the word means, are opportunities for God to comfort us and then He commissions us to COMFORT others who are afflicted, and notice it does not say we have had to have had the same exact experience but it does say we are authorized, commissioned to comfort those afflicted in what state are we to do so “ANY AFFLICTION” if we have been crushed, experienced His comfort now ewe are authorized, commissioned to comfort others in “any” type of affliction as we both have experienced crushing, perhaps of different typed but nevertheless crushing and we are qualified to comfort them with the comfort He has comforted us with.- CRUSHED- COMFORTED- COMMISSIONED

* I have found sometimes in His Word, God delivers His people FROM their trials,-{2 Tim 3:11} sometimes He chooses to Sustain His people IN their trials, Both take equal power one is not “superior” than the other or a sign of His love or lack of. Nor a sign of great faith or lack of faith. We tend to view only Deliverance FROM as the ONLY acceptable result in the matter, anything else is viewed with suspicion. It is simply God being God and while we love to see God deliver FROM,yet we should see it takes just as great a work of God to Sustain someone IN their trial. {See Paul 2 Cor 12:9-10} To see God sustain someone IN their trial is ground to praise Him/

* I have found His Word has been a balm a healing balm for my battered mind and body, Verse read years and years ago. long forgotten His Spirit recalls to my mind and ministers to me. I may think I will never remember them BUT GOD… has His Spirit recall what has been deposited in the bank of my memory. Be encouraged He can recall His Word to you exactly when you need it

* I have found Him to be a Friend
* I have found ” I want you to know my CIRCUMSTANCES Have worked out to further the Gospel”-{Phil 1:12}.
Recently I received a text from a men’s bible study who apparently listened to a message I had given on CD on anxiety and men weeping as they listened…. I have been able to give a couple of messages by phone to various groups in different parts of the country an never leaving my bed…. He uses circumstances to share with Dr’s nurses, patients, people in pain, He chooses where in His harvest field we co labor with Him. Isiah did not say “Here am I Lord, Here is where I am prepared to go and where and what I am not prepared to do..Let’s negotiate.” But “Here am I LORD, Send me!”

* I have found Him to encourage amidst the dark and difficult times. To lift up our head

Thankful to those of you who in your own storms are learning of Him. It may not be how you would have chosen “But God…” will use you to further His cause and draw you deeper into companionship with Himself…the above are some observations in my journey, they may not be yours but for me for now, are some things I have observed… hope they may encourage one soul along their path of pain…. He can be relied upon – “What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our griefs and pain to bare… what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer”

Exhausted, weary, but Thankful to Him, A Friend who sticks closer than a Brother

You are infinitely loved,